Tuesday, October 17, 2006
oh my god.. today was so... argh... *sigh*
went to teahouse today.. was enjoying myself somehow, free food+i bought some food. was thinking of buying some tea leaves for parents budden no money T.T sorry mum, sorry dad.. =(
haiz.. so after teahouse thingy, we went back to school.. then came the worst nightmare eva. results were flashed to us. argh.. i am so stupid.. stupid results.. argh..
I HATE ME. argh.. why am i born such a fuckin' idiot?! argh.. *sigh*..
ENG: 65+/100 no v sure.
CHI: 61/100
MATH: 82/100
SCI: 51/100 WTF. I WAS LIKE WTF?! my journals is like 3/64 la. cost me a big bomb..
LIT: 55+/100 erm i think its liddat. not v sure..
HIST: 42/100
ART: 36/100
budden 2nd combination i got like, 1 A2, 1 B3, 1 B4, 1 C5, 1 C6 & 2 E8..
FUCK. SHIT. DAMN. ARGH. i am such an idiot.. dunno wad's overall for 1st and 2nd combination leh.. maybe i will fail two subs.. fuck..
hmm... haha.. everytime tell others to be positive.. budden in the end, i am the one not being positive.. haha.. oh wells, tml i shall juz be positive. see anyone very sad then i can go comfort. haha. otherwise, where got pple can like trying to help pple, even when they are in pain themselves. trying to make a difference in this world haha. i will be the one who is always positive in other's mind! =D i will be the positive one. cheering pple up, even when wadeva bad happens to me! =) and they will see what a beautiful place the world is in =D
oh well, tml nobod shall see me being sad, cuz i wont.. but maybe tml... i may juz flare up at pple.. i dunno.. happened in p-skul b4.. i juz flare at anyone when my results sux.. and i cant control it.. argh... so pple.. beware ar tml... i will try to control.. =)
ohyea, i kissed lingfei's neck today! XD for fun haha. sry lingfei but i aint gay = = anyway u are my darling NO. 1! XD jkjk.. haiz..
oh wells, hope ahem score well too. =)
haiz.. yr coming to end le... i will miss 2c1 times...haiz...
i wil remember 2c1 foreva...
and.. my fuckin father was like.. wanna cancel the internet connection.. fuck him la.. stupid. say that my eldest sister and i were not doing the very best we had, and we were slackin all the way.. I AINT SLACKIN' DAD! FUCK YOU! WHEN WAS THE LAST TIME U SAW ME WORKING HARD FOR MY EXAMS?! U DIDNT EVEN SEE ME WORK HARD, SO HOW COULD YOU SAY I SLACKIN'?! I FEEL SO FUCKED UP AND PISSED BY YOU, YA NOE?! I AM REALLY GONNA JUMP DOWN THE BUILDING. BUT I AM THINKING FOR YOU, FUCKER! IF I DIE, THAT MEANS MORE MONEY WILL BE SPENT ON THE FUNERAL. SO I AM HELPING U SAVE MONEY AND QUIT YAPPING UR FUCKIN' MOUTH AND SHOWING YOUR FUCKIN' ATTITUDE. U SUX LIKE SHIT YA NOE?! FUCK YOU! IDIOT! I AM WORKIN FOR MY HARDEST AND YOU SAID I DIDNT! FUCK YOU! FINE.
I DIDNT STUDY FOR MY EXAMS!!
wadeva. i am seriously going to cut myself as many times as possible, i dun care the pain le. and one obvious thing.
My Eldest sister is seriously working her hardest. you noe how she studied? behind the doors, she read over and over and over. fuck you for sayin that she didnt study well. she studied so hard la, i think more than anyone else. fuck you. u didnt see how much effort we put in, and scolded us. even if we said back that we did, u wont listen. YOU FUCKIN FATHER. YOU DONT DESERVE TO BE MY FATHER. YOU SAID U CARE FOR US CUZ U GAVE US MONEY. WELL? THE WORLD WILL BE A BETTER PLACE BETTER OFF MONEY!!! IF THERE IS LOVE, THERE COMES MONEY. BUT U DIDNT GIVE US LOVE, YOU GAVE US SHIT. FUCK YOU. U DONT EVEN NOE WHAT YOUR SON LIKES, WHAT YOUR SON DETESTS, WHAT YOU SON WANTS AND WHAT YOUR SON DID. YOU JUZ GAVE THE MONEY AND SCOLD ALL YOU WANT. FUCK YOU. AND I DONT DESERVE TO BE HERE ANYWAY.
I AM BETTER OFF DEAD. living in this family=death
there is no difference in death and living with YOU as my FATHER. FUCK YOU. AND I DONT GIVE A DAMN ABOUT YOUR HIGH BLOOD PRESSURE. SERIOUSLY. SINCE YOU DONT CARE FOR MY FEELINGS, WHY SHOULD I CARE FOR YOURS? I TRIED TO CARE FOR YOU, AND I SUCCEEDED. YOU DIDNT EVEN TRY TO CARE FOR ME AND MY SISTERS. FUCK YOU! AND NOW, I SHANT EVEN LET YOU BOTHER ME! FUCK YOU IDIOTIC BASTARD! I HATE YOU.
logging off. and i might never ever online for this 3 months le. byebye..
RYU
ano hi no boku wa mukizu na mamade hito wo aisouto shiteita
that day, i love you without getting hurt/ 5:51 AM
