changed blogskin.
why are there so many people's bday.
zzz.
i know 7 people's bday today.
and one of them is. boo.
haha.
so yea.
cousin's bday today. and HAHA.
its so not gonna be fun. i think the food is gonna be fun though =D
so yea. =D
update sometime.
btw
HAPPY BDAY JERIC.THOMSOM.EDISON.MYCOUSIN.ANDWHOEVAIMISSEDOUT.
i wanted to celebrate with you. but. i cant =)

arh.. headaches again.. this time, its at the back and front.
stayed at home, nvr go school.
and i dreamt of something bad.
v bad. people around me starts to attack me, as if they're possessed or something.
and even my close friends and that someone.
i am losing it.
i cant cope any longer!!
argh. i hate headaches. i hate headaches. i hate headaches!!
is it meaningful to have a crush on somene who probably doesnt even care about your existance?
well, if that's not meaningful.. i will still love the person.
i dont know if the person already has someone else in mind, but i will still continue to love.
i dont see any future between us already. but, how could i forget this love?
we lived so near to each other, but our hearts seemed so far apart.
oh well. just trust that my love will last long.
if someone is happy about the life someone had now, i shall be happy for someone.
anyway, i dont really intend to get into a relationship so fast... for now.

YES GRACE I LOVE HIM =DD
HIM ITS A HIM =D

printing notes now. bahbahbah. i have to chiong for this year.
but its weird.

i am already mugging and mugging but there are still people who thinks i am slacking.
its stupid. i hate it can. i am really mugging.
fuck it.
YES FUCK IT CAN.
its you guys who dont understand me.
i seem happy on the outside eh? yea that's why i put in my frienster profile:
i've got split personality personalities
i can be sweet and warm at a time, but cold and harsh the other.

arh.. headaches again.. this time, its at the back and front.
stayed at home, nvr go school.
and i dreamt of something bad.
v bad. people around me starts to attack me, as if they're possessed or something.
and even my close friends and that someone.
i am losing it.
i cant cope any longer!!
argh. i hate headaches. i hate headaches. i hate headaches!!
is it meaningful to have a crush on somene who probably doesnt even care about your existance?
well, if that's not meaningful.. i will still love the person.
i dont know if the person already has someone else in mind, but i will still continue to love.
i dont see any future between us already. but, how could i forget this love?
we lived so near to each other, but our hearts seemed so far apart.
oh well. just trust that my love will last long.
if someone is happy about the life someone had now, i shall be happy for someone.
anyway, i dont really intend to get into a relationship so fast... for now.

YES GRACE I LOVE HIM =DD
HIM ITS A HIM =D

printing notes now. bahbahbah. i have to chiong for this year.
but its weird.

i am already mugging and mugging but there are still people who thinks i am slacking.
its stupid. i hate it can. i am really mugging.
fuck it.
YES FUCK IT CAN.
its you guys who dont understand me.
i seem happy on the outside eh? yea that's why i put in my frienster profile:
i've got split personality personalities
i can be sweet and warm at a time, but cold and harsh the other.

in school now.
cant use com for like324547638942756837 years.
dad banned me. wth.
nvm, i shall blog here in school.
miss someone so much. bahhh. so many days nvr tok le.
i am so dissapointed in dad.
oh well, dont talk about him.
the carnival was pretty good.
except that. things happen.
i dunno what happen but yea.
around 3+, yvonne's face was kicked by a malay guy.
so i went up to find some people.
when i go back down, she is still down there, so i grabbed her hand to take her out.
the hand is so cold, so hard and so rough--like a tree that kinda rough.
i knew it was not her. den i say "erm i go get help". then i went up.
i go back down, she wasnt dere already.
around 4+, i felt chest pain more unbearable than the first one. i think i black-out.
when i woke up i was crying and crying, uncontrollably.
until now, no one wanna tell me.
grace said i was drawing. ying ting said i was screaming whenever someone talk to me.
wth.
i aint scared. its just disturbing.
boo. hate dad. everytime i try to forgive him, he made me hate him.


there are people who dont believe i did my best and there are people who believe me.
i did my best in all the test, but many people dont believe.
so what can i do? i just let them say. since i talk so much, and they dont believe me.
i surrender to them everytime, i am tired of it. i am really tired of it.
why dont you just let me die, instead of not aborting me and planned to torture me.
you should have aborted me that time, like what you thought of before.
then i wont suffer like this. and you dont know how much i've been through.
i'm not tired because of masturbating once or twice a month.
i'm tired cuz you two MUM AND DAD, dont gimme a break in life.
i'm tired. i'm depressed. and i wont ever tell you what happen to me.
as i have said in my friendster profile,
i am an enigma.
you wont know what i will be doing next.
NEVER.
i'm sick and tired of those words.
you dont let me go out play. you dont let me use com.
you want me study. i did at school, revise at school, you dont believe.
i never study you want me to study, i go study you dont believe.
i am sick of it. very sick of it.
i am tired of it. very tired of it.
i need a break. maybe forever, maybe not.
i dont know.
if its forever, prepare not to see me tmr already.
if its not, then leave me alone. dont talk to me, dont touch me.
fuck.

mrs oon talked to me today.
and i am happy that she cares.
and i am happy that you dont.
fuck.
i dont give a damn.

its been bad day everyday. and today wasnt as good either.
tired out.
feel so disgusted by myself.
i feel like i am a no-use.
felt like killing myself.
maybe i depended on the person too much as if i need the person to survive.
bla. i dont.

i am just tired out.
i am really tired out.
if only someone was here to wipe my sweat,
to massage my back.
baaaahhhhh.... i am just gonna cry again.
yea i am a guy. but who says, guys dont cry.
i am one who cries easily. cuz i am emotional.
so? =((
okay, so i like someone. now.
and its gonna be long.
but i wont tell anyone. but i told junhao.
lol. cuz i trust him that he wont say =D
and jun hao noes him.
i love him can. i love him so much can.

ah... you know i'm so sad can.
fine. my fault. i know.
mrs tey's right.
and everyone's right.
i am always at fault.
so why dont you just kill me instead.
you make me go happy, and make me go sad.
i understand you okay, i know all you've done is for my own good.
but i already did my best already you know..

no wonder i feel so sad today.
someone's having high fever. that's why :(
get well soon okay.. :(

okay so, today was like @)$%#$% lol. so crazy can!
went off with yee ting to buy a WIG, HAIR EXTENSION and 30 YARDS OF THE DAMN CLOTH.
played around with the wig. make me so GIRL CAN. lol.
but i was quite proud i look very normal and HOT AND SEXY =DDD
with the wig sticking on to my sweaty body, why cant i be hot? =DD
GET WELL SOON EH! lol.
anyway, tried to di siao this BENEDICT guy can, lol.
but i'm hot! who cares. lol.
went home around 7 and reach around 8.
cant wait to use com. but sis was using.
downloading vids, and removin the sound, so i get make mp3 sounds =D
bah. gtg.
get well soon ;D

arh, today was absolutely HOT can.
wasnt so happy about in lessons, so not gonna blog on that.
the 3 Js make me feel so sad can.
JOSHUA, JOEL AND JUSTIN. wth they dun want help me in the dance for graduation night.
ergh!
and we cant get the white shirts today. WHAT THE SHIT. haha but nvm.
somebody i dont like cut the hair today. but at least he looks better than last time.
ARH wth, cut my own hair today. but no one finds it weird. as in, quite a normal hair cut, juz that my hair's CURLING, WHAT THE HELL :D

someone's very attractive ya know. dreamt of that someone ytd :D
SO CUTE CAN, the dream. haha. so surprising dream sommore. lols.
but i wont be able to attract that person la. dun even think that person can like think or give a damn about me :(

BAH. today's asylum meeting was quite okay. everything was fine.
BUT I FRIGGIN HIT MY HEAD TWO TIMES ON THE BEAM.
ouch man.
okay we RAN OUT OF 50YARDS OF CLOTH.
NEED 20 YARDS MORE!! AND FAKE BLOOD!! AND THE ASYLUM NEEDS CLEANING!! AND WE NEED COSTUMES AND MAKE-UP!! AND ALOT OF THINGS!!
can any of those SCs give any fucking shit about the asylum? yvonne and mates are the only ones who have a sense of urgency but you guys are like taking your own sweet times like no one's business.
what kind of SCs are you la, c'mon.
even there are people who dunno what to help BUT they helped out cleaning under the stage can. and you guys juz noe how to pon meetings and be present on that day only. WHAT THE SHIT LA.
NO ONE WILL GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT YOU'VE DONE, CUZ YOU'VE DONE NO FUCKING THING AT ALL.
SCs right. HAHA. wonder who actually voted you guys = =

arh! someone's hot. and cute. and attractive. to me. but doesnt thinks so for me la. so. aww well.
loong time since i have a crush okay!! :D

ARH!! i'm like so stupid can. was supposed to meet saffie at 6pm. and i fell asleep!! SO SORRY!! =( i feel so evil, stupid, retarded, bad BAH.. =( SAFFIE!!! I'm so sorry!! didnt play a prank on you =(
arh. wth =(

went to school at 8.30 to distribute flyers.
so many blocks. so little time. so. CHEAT =D
dun tell u how i cheat. lol.
went off to meet joshua, joel, justin (ALL THE Js) and some other guy.
I THOUGHT THAT GUY WAS FROM OUR SCHOOL CAN. I'm LIKE SO DUMB SMART. = =
went OG to find SUPPOSEDLY CHEAP stuff.
but realised all white sleeve shirt >68 bucks. WTH. but i saw this really really really nice one!!
it costs like 89bucks. wth!!
so we went bugis street. AND SAW THIS REAL NICE ONE, but its gonna be hot and sweaty for us. =D
and we got the price 20. =D at first it was 25 but she gave us 20 can. so nice =D
okay so we went to dunno where to eat PASTA MANIA =DD
but WHAT THE SHIT?! NO PIZZA, AND THE PATHETIC BOX OF PASTA IS LIKE SO SMALL, AND THE DRINKS, NVR GIVE ME CAP. AND IT COST ME LIKE 9.55. WTH. I SHOULD HAVE BOUGHT SUBWAY OR LONG JOHN SILVER LA. AT LEAST THE MEAL ARE FAR BIGGER.
the actual pasta mania's pasta is like FAR WAY LARGER can! wth, i feel so cheated.
went with justin and josh to like pacific blabla shit.
talking about BLABLA, i realised that my SS PAPER's last sentence was like:
In order to manage ethnic diversity, Singapore had set up groups like the Presidential Council of blablabla. <-- i'm stuck :( so difficult, dunno how to do.
i really wrote this man!! wth, gonna scan my ss paper to you all to see. ARGH ITS SO DUMB CAN!! FORGOT TO ERASE LA WTH.
okay so haunted house was still like what-the-hell, such a mess can.
its so stupid la.
BAH i wanna watch that cheer leading movie, but i fell asleep until like 8.50+ wth!!
ah forget it. pass day's a mess for me.
hope everything turns out good the following days. =

AH HAH! today i've got news.
i frigginly TIO THRASHED BY 11 PEOPLE.
and i got like 12th or what. total number of competitors is around 52 or 53 or 54.
i've got to tell this story.

today, was my wushu tournament.
although i got tio thrashed but that's not the main point.
i cut myself!! and its different this time!!
okay so i actually did bo nao and cut my left arm DEEP.
i could show you the picture if you wanna. but i cant load into com. dunno why.
anyway, i cut deep and was bleeding like @$*$%@@$%$@!$^&*#$$*%
from middle of the arm, covers the back part of the hand all the way down to my finger tips.
ALOT. and its a bloody scene.
i went to the medics and they said, its a small case, although a deep cut.
so i was like okay..
it wasnt even pain though. not the slightest bit. and they put medicine and plaster over it.
its a SMALL PLASTER OKAY.
den i went to practise again. i hit the same spot, but not cut it again. just slightly hit nia.
den blood oooze out. alot. this time it covers the whole hand. from the middle of the arm, covers around the left side and back part of the arm to the finger tips. the back of my palm was all covered with blood.
so i went back to the medic, and they said its okay.
and they clean the blood and put a BIG PLASTER over it.
den i went practising and hit AGAIN. as in people are freaked out when i was putting the small plaster already.
den a girl was so shocked about my hand bleeding. and blood literally SPURTS OUT from the wound. den it oozed out alot. dripped a few drops of blood on the ground too.
i was upstairs with the medics when they decided finally to put a BANDAGE over it.
people were staring at me all these time when i was with the medics. dey were like having OMG expression on there face and stood infront of me dumbfounded. den they left staring at my DEEP DEEP WOUND.
and this guy was like so worried for me, and keep on standing in front of me and following me to check if i am alright. thanks yea!! ;D
another was like keep on looking at my arm. JJC de ba. but he looks concern, so well thanks ar ;D
den i hit my wound again but no blood come out. den i go rest. around 30mins or so, the blood suddenly come out of the bandage. den i started feeling abit of pain.
it flows downwards and covers my fingers. alot alot.
den i went to see the medics again. they changed the bandage and tie it very tightly.
so tight until right hand and left hand different colour la! wth.
den i go see then and they loosen it abit.
after my turn, i went to see them for check-up. den they open up and blood flows out very quickly. alot oso. difficult to stop until they put medicine.
wth and i lost blood 5 times which is like 5 palmful of blood la!! that's ALOT!!
and everyone was staring at me during the 5 visits of the medics, they looked so freaked out and shocked, cuz the cut very deep.
den people were like "oh my gosh, look at that guy!"
tml competition again, but its cudgel (wooden stick thang). so i will hit my head, instead of cutting myself.
lol.

isnt that a great story. but really, its ALOT ALOT ALOT OF BLOOD. but not pain.
i'll show my friends those photos. really. its nice. cuz its deep and lots of blood.
and i'll have to change my bandage and medicine during school time. the morning dat time.
at home no time at all la. wtf. haha.

ohoh, there's this cute cute girl i found in the wushu tournament.
haha. and she got likie 8.00+ marks. great job! and a cutie too.
found 2-3 hot babes =D
and found this cute cute guy. haha. he's yi ming's opponent. international routine for spear.
cool. =D

jia you wor!! tml i oso have, but past 3-5 weeks was sick, so wasnt able to train entire routine for cudgel. T.T
no confindence.

arh! i saw this guy again. lol.
his DAO look as usual. but he's cute :D
BUT.he cut his hair short and dyed his hair.
i swear next time i see him, i will ask him for his number.
he's cute wad. HAHA. but he's got the dao look. >=(
lol. he kept staring at me just now. (like what. he just keep looking at me.)
like last time, he looks at me for dunno what reason. but he's cute.
but he's so dao. but he's cute. LOL. OXYMORON XD
i swear i will ask for his number la. he's cute.
but he cut his hair short and dyed his hair.
OKAY! ENOUGH OF HIM. KEPT REPEATING ABOUT HIM. = =
oh but he's cute x)

so! today was stupid.
i went jpph with yanni to eat.
supposed to eat with liping; vivian, but no space so eat behind her.
saw presley. and AI DE SI YI. SHORT SHORT NEH!!
went up to check out the price of AYUMI HAMASAKI's album.
ARH, SO EX. IF SOMEONE BUYS THAT FOR ME, I WILL SO SO SO FALL IN LOVE WITH HIM/HER LA! ayumi hamasaki ROCKS to e corezxzxzxzxzx!!! =D
then we went home. took bus 243G
AND SAW HIM. that guy who kept LOOKIN' AT ME.
like last time. haha.
i know, i know. i'm VERY attractive.
HA! talk about that, he looks like that JOSHUA CHUA from 2B3/2B2.
VERY LIKE. but he's cuter than josh. HAHA.
i aint crazy over him. he's just cute. that's all :D

its pretty retarded. ohoh!! i saw this guy whom i thought was like a 3 year old kid.
this sec 4b1 guy. HAHA! he's really like 3 year old kid la! so cute!! he sit down was like 3 year old kid oso!
like what baby ENLARGED.
so retarded la XD
presley looks not that beng with his shirt tucked in. ha.
okay that's bout all for today.
mostly its about this 3 year old kid cute cute "boi boi" and this guy who looks like josh chua. lol.

bah. i'm getting tired.
just saw ARTIFICIAL INTELLIGENCE.
so touched can. David just wants to be with his "mum" and after 2000 years, he could only "revive" his "mother" for only one day.
that's so sad. after all he'd been through, he could only see his mum for only a day, for 2000 years.
how sad.
my blog sucks man. its SO like an idiotic collage here and there. hah! gonna change it. not so soon.
hmmm, i wannna see more movies. but no time T.T
haha! my grandma tio toto. 200 bucks. haha. gratz grandma!

i think i am selfish. very selfish.
work on that boy!
i have to admit, i am not tall, dark and handsome.
i am just tall, tan and cute.
believe it.

i am a nobody.
nobody is perfect.
therefore, i'm perfect! ;)

girls just dont get the thing.
they expect me to view their profile and add them in friendster.
which i dont do. why dont you just add me in friendster and msn?
they expect me to catch them in my eye while i hang out with my friends.
so they look at me at a distance. when i look at them, they look away, stealing glances.
awh, like c'mon. its not that i did not notice you.
its just that, i have no reason to smile and say hi to you right? that's so lame.
if you wanna know me, just say hi to me and report your name.
i'll report mine too.
i dont have the habit of making friends. most of my friends make friends with me.
then of course, i am not initiative. that's why.
so if you wanna know me, why dont you get your ass up and TALK TO ME?
hah, and there you'll realise, i'm a good friend afterall.
chop chop, easy job.

actually, i could consider myself as a lucky kid.
i have a dad, a mum, two sis.
why do i keep thinking i have a miserable life?
gosh, i am so retarded. i am leading a lucky life, and yet i think i have a miserable life.
argh. i am stupid.
its retarded on how the dads in this world actually is very "concern" about you.
its a miracle if he is REALLY concern about you.
such a faker. who'd believe what he say, man.
and like gosh, he went off for the vacation "concerned" that me and sis cant go to school early.
well i'll tell you, we didnt get LATE FOR SCHOOL.
we lived life off pretty well without you.
you dont have to show your fakin' "concerned" face in front of me.
and about ytd. like argh. i dont wanna talk about it.
i'm living my life just as though i only have a mum.
tell you what.
MY DAD IS DEAD ALREADY. DEAD SINCE I WAS VERY YOUNG.
i know i know, its retarded. dont wanna talk bout him any longer.
okay so JOSHUA HUANG owes me a choc bar.
if he doesnt gimme on mon, he will owe me a truckload full of sour sweets (:

well, i've been losing contact with the nhhs peeps.
like hello? i am still living, contact me pls :D
only contact with jane, xuel. and no one else. not even peixuan ==
well didnt see her online so, yea.

hah! its retarded on how i live in this world.
i dont even know the purpose why i am living in this world, man.
i shall will pia everything for academics from today onwards!

haha. i think i will. lol.
well, i have to get more life, baby.
otherwise, i am just like DEAD.

i have random thoughts everyday.
watched a cinderella story just now. the world is ugly.
people dont seem to look into the true hearts of others.
and people pretends. they dont show their true self. they just pretend.
i am always waiting for my princess to show up. but the time isnt right.
even if i had my princess in front of me, i might just reject. because the time just isnt right.
the time is right, once i see the rainbow. the true colours.

i've thought over. there are people who like me, and there are those who dont.
but i dont have to care about how other feels about me.
because i am just me. what others say about me will never affect me.
they might say i'm metrosexual, i wont agree.
i am not metrosexual. i am just myself. i am ryu, just myself.
everyone is born with a name they wanted themselve.
i am born with the name i wanted; ryu. i just want to be the dragon, so carefree, brave and strong.
i never in my life pretends. i am just me. if i pretend, i will try to be me again.
i cant stand everyone around me pretending. pretending to be okay, when you are not.
pretends to be happy when you are sad.
I DONT LIKE PRETENDERS.
hate is a word too strong to be used.
i tell you what, i will change.
use lesser vulgarities. be the person i am.

haha just deleted those pictures in friendster. changed the main photo to some retarded one.
well i guessed it. people are all after this "material things" in this world after all.
they look out for hot guys/hot babes and dont see in to the heart.
girls out there might be thinking i'm very good-looking, but i dont think so.
they just see what's outside, not what's inside.
i myself thinks that i'm ugly.
i lie, cheat and hurts people. i think. i think i hurt alot of people, which is such an ugly thing to do ): oh well.
anyway, my dp changed into some retarded photo, not my face, because i want people to add me as in who i am.
not because i am good-looking, but because i am suitable to be their friends.
i am changing my profile too.
not reveal too much about myself. haha.
only those who are REALLY interested in me will go through the effort in talking to me in msn.
others take it for granted i will treat them like a friend.
but i wont. i am only interested in those who are interested in me (:

just trying to make people know who i am. that's all.
i wont lie any more. but there will always secrets that i keep. so well.
dont probe me, cause i will only tell you if i wanted to. haha.

hmm, everyday seems to be a better day as i set out to seek my future!
i'm glad i've seen a cinderella story today. looking out for those "life-teaching" movies.
i'm gonna see that jap movie some how. that dunno wad sou sou movie. haha
well gtg. bye.

went back school today!
i miss school so much! but no one is like welcoming.
ah well, its juz life. I LOVE HOUKI BOSHI.
=D
i dun understand maths.
stupid la. AUDREY IS BECOMING MORE CRAZY =D
i love houki boshi.
honto. ;)
joshua's so random.
so is norman. LOL. he's DAMN RANDOM CAN.

okay i changed blogskin. looks SO friggin weird.
mixed random pictures together. haha.
song is houki boshi by younha.

that's all folks! bye.