hai.

u know how stupid it is to say that my hair curls cuz i use computer too much?
i really want to scold this now.
GAN LIN NAH BEH CAI JI BAI LA.
YOU GO FUCK YOUR CAO LAN JIAO SOMEWHERE ELSE, NOT INTO MY EARS.
YOU KNOW THE WAY YOU SCOLD IS FUCKING IRRITATING?
and it has no fucking logic sommore! what the fuck la.
last time say my hair curls cuz i masturbate
and now wad.
fuck la. gan lin na.
i help sis do cannot meh? ur business ar?
its just using computer late at night.
and its after exams le la, nah beh cai ji bai.
fuck ur lan jiao la.

today was utterly stupid.
went around telling everyone. I INJURED MY LEG WHEN I FELL DOWN FROM A BIKE.
its not SUPER EMBARRASING though. lol.
okay. preparing for dance.
let me see...

dates unavailable
27-30may. 4-10,14-16june. SHAFIKA
1-8,12june. KIWI
2,6,9-10,12-14,16,18-20,23june YILIN
peiqi mostly free.
beatrice very free.
fionn haven ask.
javin haven ask.
peiqi cuz haven ask.
douglas haven ask.

HAIYO. music!! i need them!!!
how stupid am i. freak.
i am gonna upload music!! lol
let me see... what should i upload?
ZUI JING!!! lol. i fell in love with that song man! so nice.
bla.
ciaoz

oo. my leg damn pain.
pain pain.
shit man.
4th post. changed skin.
ugly one.
boo.
what a pathetic sad world it is that i'm living.
hol's starting and i've got a rather broken leg.
lol.
hah.
cool.
ergh.
PAIN!!!

bla. the world is a pathetic place.
sad and pathetic...
hmmmmmmmmmmmmmmmm.
my blog's emo. wow. = =
i wanna talk to someone.
someone i can confide in.
but there's no one. cuz i dun wish to tell alot of pple stuff.
ya know.

conclusion: i'll keep everything to myself.


tag replies:
[AUDREY BONG] OI!! its SUPER NOT WORTH YOU RETARD no.2!
[Gay?] haha who are you?

What Division Are You In?


Hosted by theOtaku.com: Anime. Done right.

hai. so sian today.
v sian.
fell down on a bicycle juz now =.=
trying to do a stunt.
and my balls are like @%)@&^@#&(#^()@& pain. HAHAHA!
hey i aint emo okay.
i'm juz SIANNED.
lol. and i dont have a STEAD for like goodness sake.
best friends like yilin, audrey and yvonne doesnt mean WE STEAD.
rofl, haha. like hello? my enunciation, pronunciation, pace and variation of tone is PERFECT =)
fantastic, you might call it.
ZOMG, i am such an english pro!
i dont even know the meaning of MEDIOCRE.
of wadeva cre. lol. i dont even know how to spell!

today was just another sian day. tml no money eat again.
dun wan borry money le.
die of hunger jiu die ba.
no one will care anyway, well its MY life not THEIRS.
so tell me, is it that my personality sucks, or that people detest me for no reason.
i feel that my personality sucks. yea that should be the reason why =D
ROFL.
MR WOOHOO(: I KNOW WHO YOU ARE. YILIN TOLD ME. HAHA.
okay just a random message that just zapped in my mind with a perfect BOOYA shot (:
you might not understand what's BOOYA, so ask me (;

random shout outs:
1) I WANT TO EAT PIZZA HUT!
2) i went to the toilet today and i'm like erh! what the hell's that smell.
3) LIKE BOO! YA! STOP FLIRTING! I'M JEALOUS YOU KNOW.
4) i'm stupid. yea i am. and no one dares to be clever, since i'm already stupid (:
5) PAN PACIFIC COST $50623478658902346589063489 ONLY TO EAT AN SO CALLED "ALL YOU CAN EAT BUFFET". (audrey, come to ur senses. those lobsters, oysters and all those "ex" stuff are so cheap in the market. you buy them all around 50+ bucks, and you wont be able to finish alone. so why pay 50+ bucks for the "all you can eat buffet" when you can only eat up to a total of $5 worth of food?)
6)i am NOT suffering from insanity okay!!! i am just enjoying every second of it (x
7) COOL MAN! SO LAME!
8) rudolf the red nose raindeer, have a very shiny nose(LIKE A LIGHT BULB!) and if you ever saw it, you can even say it glows (like a flash light!).. lalala~
9) CHILL' MAN, CHILL'!! ADD SOME MORE CHILL', OTHER WISE THE CHICKEN CHOP WOULD NOT BE NICE!
10) i'm HOT because my skin is cao-tah (:

i've been asking myself alot of times. i shall finally post it.
"how many people in this world that i know truely cares about me?"
i've been pondering and rolling over the bed. i finally know.
those that to be left untold, are those that i dont think cares about me.
maybe they feel that they care for me, but the way they portray.
WAY OFF.
for so long, i know who truely cares for me, and those who dont.
i just want to tell those close friends that i have, that i love you.
from A-Z order:
asief, audrey, brandon chai, brandon ma, eliz-camilia, eugene(xiaoming), ferind, grace lim, gwee jie, joshua, kahyan, khaiwoon, mary, liping(vivian), peiling, rain, ruby, sin yee, yanni, yvonne, and my 1D1s dat are close with me. =)) thx. love you guys.
i love you. i cant bear to let go.
i cant let go. ouch.
AND i am sick of those sickening gay shits that wanna ask me for sex.
i am NOT into sex. i am NOT into love, no not now.
and fuck, who gives a shit if you are horny or not. i am currently into girls, not GAYS.
i think i must emphasize it, I AM NOT INTO SEX.
if you are horny, find some gay-shits-gigolo in gey lang and do your stuff.
dont ponder for long when i am gonna have sex with you, cuz i wont even talk to you guys.
from now on, i officially announce. SEX MANIACS ARE FUCKIN IRRITATING.

okay, that's some random posts.
cool man! haha.
LOCO ROCO ROX!! =DD

i changed my song to hero like AGAIN.
hai.... v depressed.
okay its quitei'm stupid.
haha. today was juz another boring day.
boring.
yea juz plain boring.
oh yea, i decided to upload my narrative, since teacher say its fantastic work! lol. = =
not quite nice. okay here goes nth:
The Rose
I could not believe that the life of my rose would shrivel up so quickly and so suddenly. Walking in the cold autumn drizzle, I held on to my black umbrella and clenched my right into a fist with a bright red rose in it. The faint memories ran through my mind as the light drizzle cried onto my umbrella.
Her strong will and fiery temper made her look so thorny on the outside, but her soft, watery eyes seemed to smile and whisper to me so softly, and thus revealed her inner-self—a weak and delicate girl. The rosy cheeks, the crimson lips, the thorny personality, the delicate inner-self—what a beautiful rose. This rose belonged to me. She was my girlfriend, Jennifer.
My love for her could never contain in my heart any loner, and I was ready to ask for her hand. These four years has certainly brought us very close and day by day, the bond that we had grew thicker and thicker, so much so that even diamond could not even leave a small scratch on it.
I was ready, and I had in mind what diamond ring to buy and how to propose to her. I took out my cell phone and called her best friend Rachelle, in order to confirm if Jennifer will like what I had in mind.
I met Rachelle at the jewellery shop. We went into the brightly lit shop, decorated with sparkling ornaments. I smiled into the display and indicated that I wanted the 1.2 carat diamond ring. It looked at the glittering diamond ring held on by the platinum ring. It shone so brightly that I thought I needed shades.
“I’ll take this one, miss,” I handed out the ring as she took it from my hand and started to cash out. We left the shop and I thanked Rachelle for helping me out.
“Hey! Buy a rose! Any women will love a rose for when a guy proposes!” Rachelle suggested brilliantly.
I immediately lit up and went off with Rachelle to find a florist. Dozens of brightly coloured flowers gave the shop a hive of energy. I strolled in and a whiff of flowery fragrance embraced me. My eyes were fixed upon a bright red rose. It looked so beautiful. The scarlet petals opened up in full blossom… [to be continued...]

i dun have my full story with me ]=
well, signing off! =D

hai. so depressed.
1 A1, 2 B4, 1 C5, 1 C6 and 2 F9
chem, eng, chi, bio, emath, amath and ss respectively.
hai.
i am gonna cut myself?
no. or jump down the building.
hai.
sad.
school life so failure, love life so failure, family. hai. no nid to say, even worse.
can death take care everything?
hai. i really dunno.

hai, failed amaths.
got c6 for emaths.
i suck can = =
zzz, gonna get scolded by dad later.
so tata.
gonna cut myself again, i think. or drink detergent.
OH YA, I DRANK A CUP OF DISGUSTING DETERGENT, AND I DIDNT DIE.
THE MEDIA ARE LIARS LA, WAD TV SERIES ALL DRINK DETERGENT ALL DIE. BUT I DIDNT EVEN GET TO GO HOSPITAL. WTH!!!
i still love you.
yes i do.
but i dont know how you feel ):

ALONES--Aqua Timez
Oreta awai tsubasa
Kimi wa sukoshi ao sugiru
sora ni tsukareta dake sa
Mou dareka no tame janakute
Jibun no tame ni waratte ii yo

Izen toshite shinobiyoru kodoku
Uchigawa ni tomaru rousoku
Nigiwau ba ni kou kana
Taranai kotoba no kumoni
Wo nanide umetaraiin darou
Mou wakaranai yo
Semete yume ne naka de
Jiyuu ni oyogetara
Anna sora mo iranai no ni
Kinou made no koto wo
Nuritsubasanakutemo
Asu ni mukaeru no ni

Oreta awai tsubasa
Kimi wa sukoshi ao sugiru
sora ni tsukareta dake sa
Mou dareka no tame janakute
Jibun no tame ni waratte ii yo

Your fragile, folded wings
are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You dont have to force your smiles for anyone.
Its okay to smile... for yourself.

That lonely feeling that keeps creeping up on me,
a single candle burns still inside.
There shouldnt be an expensive chandelier in a wild place like this.
Can i really bury it all with empty words?
I dont even know anymore...
As long as we can swim freely in our dreams
we wont need that sky anymore.
Even if you cant let go of the past
I'll still be there to meet you tommorow.

Your fragile, folded wings
are just tired from the pure blue sky.
You dont have to force your smiles for anyone.
Its okay to smile... for yourself.

hey.. its not i am trying to avoid most of my friends but its just that i am really not available this week.
gotta fetch my cousin at 4pm okay. gotta rush home at 3.30. haiz...
and. people avoids me. and they just say brb on the messenger, but they do not return back to me.
its very irritating okay.. and okay, there are people who dont like me.
just say it out. dont go avoiding me.. thanks.
i have to say that, you are either avoiding me.
or you dont wish to talk to me.

yay! changed blogskin again! haha.
<3 creating blogskins =x although v ugly.
wtf can. i think i am gonna leave home one day.
but i dont know where to go. and i no money oso.
zzz. i think i shall work in hols, so i wont get to see that fuckin face, and hear the fucking voice, and observe the fucking attitude.
you know what? i will commit suicide once i had enough.
i am on the verge of going bungee-jumping from my hdb flat.
so fun can!! =D
haha, and also, i almost manage to do that okay.
zzz. i feel stupid. retarded.
and oh yea, my dad dont want me to use com.
i ask him ytd he was like "use for wad?! got revise ur studies la!"
and my sis can use. its juz so not fair okay.
just because u caught me watching porn, doesnt mean i will stop watching it okay.
but erm, lol i quit porning for sooooooooooooo long ago can = =
and you dont want me to masturbate. wtfuck can.
you dont even act as a father and you try to control my life, it just SO DOESNT MAKE SENSE OKAY.
go fuck your si lan jiao elsewhere, stop pissing into my life la!
you dont let me use com, you dont let me go out, and you just dont trust me.
fuck can.
theres millions of things u did to me, and i remembered them.
especially those sentences. those sentences that make me wanna go bungee-jumping.
those words. of pain. of heat-shot pain.
you wont know the pain. NO. YOU WONT.
i shall die one day, i shall.
I SWEAR ON MY LIFE THAT YOU WILL SEE ME DIE, IN FRONT OF YOUR EYES. I SWEAR THAT ON MY LIFE.
i curse you that you will lose your son.
lose that one and only son who tries to please you but you shut him off.
lose that one and only son who tries to do things your way but you make things even difficult for him.
lose that one and only son who tried his best in all his studies but you didnt even see his effort and scolded him everyday.
lose that one and only son who is out going with all his friends.
lose that one and only son.
that preciousunwanted son.

my friends, i want to tell all of you that, do not worry for me.
for what i become in future will never be the same.
it is just so that you must remember the present me in your heart.
not the future one. i will remember all of you for life.
but that depends on my mind.
dont worry, i am not going bungee-jumping off the hdb flat.
i wont. well, not so soon.
but i will not know when i will become uncontrollably wild, and crazy.
for then, i will rave and fly off. to heaven.

i cant take it for long.
i wanted to talk to you.
but always, you either dont reply.
or just reply one word and dun talk to me any longer.
well, forget it then.

its pretty stupid.
woke up today with fever.
i hate fever. 38.9 degrees.
if only i could see someone.. haha.
maybe it cures everything.. NOT ):

i'm depressed.
i wanna go to beaches.
late at night. and have hearty talks with josh/audrey/yilin/kiwi/vonvonne.
some kinda good friends i have in school <3 love them.
haha. they'll sure bring me smiles (:

HEY EVAN, I DO NOT HAVE ANYTHING DEEP HIDDEN IN ME OKAY.
I AM NORMAL. NORMAL SMILES AND LAUGHTERS.
THERE IS NO SORROWS IN MY EYES OKAY! =D

i wanna change my email addy, to something cool.
coool!!!

kissmyassbaby@hotmail.com
loosenotscandalous@hotmail.com
oopsmyboobs@hotmail.com
suckingshits@hotmail.com
retardshitsarecool@hotmail.com
smilelikeshit@hotmail.com
simplyretarded@hotmail.com
retardedsmile@hotmail.com

which one u like?
i like simplyretarded@hotmail.com and retardedsmile@hotmail.com!!!
loosenotscandalous@hotmail.com sounds cool. lol
or maybe loosepieceofshit@hotmail.com
u all vote for me please! XD


okay i narrowed down to:
retardedsmile-@hotmail.com
loosepieceofshit@hotmail.com

choose =D

i suddenly feel so happy!
and suddenly feel so dull.
wth.
okay so, i am stupid.

if only you were like evan haha.
that's will be great.

evan's a great friend!
haha. its pretty dumb
well gtg.
bye.

WEEE~~ second post. very nice post.
well let the photos do the talking.

marry me. vonvonne said its so manly. = = its so.. CUTE!!! XD

not liking spongebob.

3 musketeers! umbrella-hood. supposed to act cute and stick out butt like girls.

i am super man!

if u look closely, the star wars II woman got boobs!!!

spiderman is here!

thank you spiderman, for saving my hula hoop!!


black spidey and red spidey. FIGHT!!!

spongebob. BUIBUI KNOCK ME WITH THAT DAMN HAMMER. my ear hurts of the screech it made = =

okay. bio's so screwed. i am gonna hate leaves for life.
below are some pictures i edited. cool man! =D

ah. what the fuck.
A-maths today and its FUCKING SCREWED.
should i say its difficult, or i am stupid. lol.
i only did questions up to 41/80 marks.
now that's dead shit man. ah hack with it -.-"
starting the dance lessons and practice soon luh.

BOYS
1) ME
2) JAVIN
GIRLS
1) BEATRICE
2) PEIQI
3) ISHRAT
4) SHAFIKA
5) KIWI
6) YILIN
7) SIPEI (still considering)
8) KEIKO (still considering)
9) PEIQI'S COUSIN
10) FIONN

as you can see, i have more than enough girls. but not enough guys.
HELLO? ANYONE WANNA JOIN? I NEED GUYS PLS. = =
even from other schools oso can. at least juz gimme 2 more guys T.T
okay so, dance theme HIPHOP-JPOP.
so, found songs, found people, haven found time.
gosh omgomgomg can. i need practices. lots. so yea.
honing up my skills now, didnt touch on dance for more than 3 years haha.
ANYONE CAN JOIN THIS PROM NIGHT DANCE PERFORMANCE, THANKS.
EVEN IF YOU DONT KNOW HOW TO DANCE.
AND HELLO?! I NEED GUYS!!!!

now now. i still love you.

got back from tuition and headaches up again.
i shall never falter. i shall NEVER falter. even without the light.
but the light and i are in good friendship.
so i shall not spoil the fun.

thanks for the good luck wishes!
YILIN, KIWI, JERIC, GLENICE, DENISE, KAINA, VIVIAN, SINYEE, TRICIA, JOSHUA, LING FEI, JUSTIN, ASIEF, RAIN, AUDREY AND THOSE I MISSED OUT.
C=

i am so gonna get my hands on you.
i love you. i love your beautiful skin, your sexy body and seductive face.
i want to touch you so much, all over.
i wanna smooch you until my saliva all over you.
i wanna smell you, your distinct smell of every part and piece.
mmmm.... i wanna lick you.
and i wanna press you, where i am supposed to press.
and toss you around when i go crazy.

i will strip off your clothings, and let me see your hot hot body.
i will then smell you all over.
i will press those two sides that i am supposed to press.
and i will then insert "it" into where i am supposed to press.








my psp. i am coming for you.
crazily pressing the buttons on the two sides.
inserting BLEACH HEAT OF THE SOUL 4.
and i am gonna love you. forever.
nice story eh? XD

suki omaesan.
atashi daisuki omaesan desu..


KOIGOKORO NI AKAI PIRITTOKURU

hey guys! very sorry for late updates. there have been some people telling me to update.
dunno why. but they said my post were interesting =D thanks ;)

woke up in the morning and wonder where you are.
missing you terribly, but i still live on.
took a cup of water and went back to my dreams.
the azure sky, the sandy beach, the rippling waves.
with you in that picture, it makes everything wonderful.
with an appeal of the song "rompe", the picture was torn up and i returned back to this world.
dad, mum and granny were gone. out in johor perhaps.
went into sis room and had talks. random talks. real random.
so perhaps its just the way you potray gives me a sense of security, and perhaps a touch of harsh winter.
my mind was all on you, but still. i live on.
yearning for the computer, and i've got to touch it now. even for the only next few hours, i just wanna talk to you.
talk yes. and i am wondering how you are doing.
you give me sweet dreams, but nightmares too.
fearing you die, happy that you smile.
great. just great.


the reason why i chose this blogskin was firstly, without you, my world is in darkness.
i need you to light my way. but since you arent here, i'll just brave all my fears and feel around for my way.
even if i met up with dangers lurking in the darkness, i still need to move on: with or without you.
but it will make my life more difficult to forget that i can see the light, than to keep holding onto the hope that light will show me the way.
so i shall keep wishing for the guiding light to appear.
it might appear that my light is wishing for its source to come: the light had been wanting a source, so the light may or maynot be with me.
this way or that, the light has to be with me, or be with the source it wanted.
and i will still live on, with or without the light.

this song is called shiroi yuki; white snow.
the cold harsh snow that froze my world. i am cold, and i need warmth.
the light that can keep me warm, is never coming near.
how i wish the source that the light wants is me. i will be the source, instead of the boy in the darkness.
ah well..



okay, i am so gonna get that psp in my hands. and BLEACH HEAT OF THE SOUL 4.
i am so gonna get them. i must. so i am gonna work hard for all my exams.
i think i can focus. i think i can. i will. i definitely will.
so tell me, izzit only AUDREY or am I actually in love with the game LOCOROCO?
its so cute can!! i am so gonna get that psp.
actually, with much thought today, i thought that psp is not really what i wanted.
haha. so yea. well, i love this blogskin. and i am gonna keep it for long. long. long.
saw this movie today.
i think the english subbed name is "standing at the centre of the world listening to the world whisper" or what shit.
in chinese its 站在世界中心听着世界的呼唤 (zhan4 zai4 shi4 jie4 zhong1 xin1 ting1 zhe4 shi4 jie4 de4 hu1 huan4)
haha. bah. its a touching love story. really touching.
you know how much i wanna curse myself with blood cancer? leukimea or leukemia or dunno wad shit. haha.
its cool to have it. then i can slowly suffer and die from it.
isnt it... cool...?