dun really feel like blogging though. but have to keep my blog alive, so, BLAH. here comes one post.
mixed emotions running through my heart. random thoughts running through my mind.
i think i am losing friends. i dont know why. juz a feeling.
maybe i pushed it too much. trying to joke around thinking it makes pple happy, the ACTUAL thing is, I AM IRRITATING THEM.
at first, i dont believe that i am irritating them. i realized it when i am having random thoughts during class. i cant focus though. i remembered alot of pple's reaction. IRRITATED. i dont think i am thinking too much, cuz i saw it. dozens of times.
maybe i cant fufil this dream, this stupid dream of mine after all. haha well its hard to fufil my dream anyway.

if there is joy, there will always be sorrows.
if there is joy, there will always be jealousy.
if there is joy, there will always be anger.

actually, it makes sense. if there is no sorrows, how can we compare it to joy? if there is joy, people will get jealous of others who get stuff they didnt get to have. if there is joy, there will be people who hated the person, and will be angry that this person is happy instead of sad.
doesnt it make sense?

well, enough of it. i juz need to relax, and shut my fuckin ass up. then i wont be irritating pple. or might as well die, then i wont irritate anyone. haha. and i wont cause trouble. and everyone can still live on without me. and that mum will not have to worry about me, my sis wont snatch with me over the com, i wont piss pple off, pple will have 1 less person to hate bla bla bla.

and. what makes him think that i cant live without him. and he thinks that i need to rely on him. and he thinks that i like him. and that i will thank him for doing those stuff for me. that's QUADRAPLE NAIVE.
who cares about him anyway. he wants everything done by his way. and everyone have to give in for him. he is the reason why i dont like to go home. he is the reason why i hate my home. he is the reason why i am in this misery. why will i care if he have high blood pressure. i dont fucking give a damn about it.
for some reason, i try to forgive him. but he juz dont understands me at all. so. i-gave-up.

haha, pple think i am so carefree, but they dont know how i feel. no one understands me. they juz go BOOM and HAHAHAHAHAHA!!! by my jokes. and they go BYE GUOWEI. and ditch me.

have fun guys. without me. =) isnt that you guys wish me to say. at least my sec1 kids ASK ME. you guys juz go ahead and have fun. and say "you should have gone" and i will say "to?". i dont even know anything. and god. what the fuck is with this "LETS HANG OUT SOME TIME YEA?! ;D" and you all juz get on hangin out yourselve without me. HAHA. some kind of COLD JOKE eh? wow, you guys can sure pick up and overthrow my crown as the most funniest guy eh? ;D good job. go ahead with that. i'll make sure i wont have any friend like you guys.

some of you might juz say, "i thought you dont wanna go wad" or maybe "how to ask you, your face so black?" or even "i was being asked out by them wad. wad u want me to do?".
BAH. who gives a fuck about it.
use your brain dude, use your BLAIN.

and i hate slowpokes. you know how i hated pple who stroll to macdonalds when they say they wanna go and eat QUICKLY. wadde hell is this shit?! strolling juz becuz u wanna eat QUICKLY and you are VERY HUNGRY? what a joke. i also hate pple who decided where to eat, but changed location again halfway through the journey. wtshit man.
imagine this...
One day ABC went to find me to eat.
She said "i am very hungry you know. wanna eat out?"
and i'm like "oh okay sure"
she said "where shall we go to eat, somewhere near pls? cuz i've got cca later."
and i'm like "alright. how about mac?"
she said "oh okay."
and i walked off.
and she's like "uuhhh!! mac's fatty ya know?"
and i'm like "oh okay, where then?"
and she's like "........................"
so i stared at her and i go "........................."
and she said "never mind lets go mac"
i go "= = okay fine."
she said "but its FAR!"
and i go "alright, where then?"
and she goes "..........."
i go "................"
fine times up. CCA time.
wtshit la. BAH.
stupid.